So the focus of this post is about being on different levels , This could be emotionally , future goals, financially, sexually, or whatever. The basic point is that you and your other are simply not on the same page.
In my own experience I can say that my most recent few relationships were this way . I know since I am attracted to women that are younger there is a varying difference in experience, there are simply things that I might have already experienced and worked through that they have not. Now please do not get me wrong AGE DOES NOT matter. As long as both people are adults. Way too many people get scared of this. Happiness is beyond a number of seconds one has exchanged CO2 for O2. Point is there may have been a situation that arose and I might not have been as emotional about it as they were. Now one may think that this could be a good thing because after all a relationship is supposed to be about two people that are there to help one and another through things. Well in some cases this theory is wrong. Sometimes ones lack of emotion is translated into one not caring. In my case this was the furthest thing from the truth I did care, I chose to be the stronger one and support my other. It was taken as if I didn’t care which was not the case. This obviously did not work since I am now single.
I recently asked some friends and other readers of this blog to send in some stories about experiences they have had and I have gotten a few. Now they do not wish to have their names disclosed but the stories are valid and I will generalize their story. Remember I only have one side of the stories so I will generalize my opinion based upon that. I am simply using my experience to interpret what I have been told. I take no one specific side.
Story one I will summarize by saying, in this particular relationship on partner was focused on working hard and trying to provide a better future for both partners and a child from a previous relationship. It was felt that the future goal or one partner was not the same as the other. The job that at the time was golden ended and a financial burden was created. This caused strain on the relationship and it ended. In retrospect honesty and better communication could have possible prevented this. Furthermore , both partners were not at the same level, One was focused on what they thought was a mutual goal and understanding and the other was focused on their own goals.
The next is a pretty common one among the younger readers I have had 13 people submit stories all similar. The summation is the one partner is looking for the longer term commitment and the other is trying to achieve something completely different. It seems that it is far to common that within the younger group that usually there is a partner committed fully to the satisfaction of the the other and working towards spending their lives together. The problem is that the other is basically just using their partner. Be it for money , a place to stay, and escape from reality, sex, or ETC. Maybe there are people out there that if these needs were defined earlier on in the relationship it might have been ok with both. In most cases this is not the truth. Usually the user plays the game and makes the committed one feel like they are the world but in the end they were just using the other. This can and is extremely devastating to the committed person. I have found myself in this situation far too many times within my dating experience. I have always been the committed one and some of these break ups were extremely hard and came out of nowhere. Looking back if I was told in the beginning what the intent was I perhaps would not have gotten so attached. If we leveled that field perhaps the run would have been easier.
After reading these stories and looking back through my own relationships I have realized the following.
• Communicate with your other share feelings and goals. You do not have to completely agree , however you should respect each other enough to support the others position.
• Sexual experiences are the most common thing that people in relationships are afraid to talk to each other about. JUST TALK IF YOU TRUSTED THEM ENOUGH TO SEE YOU NAKE YOU SHOULD THEN TRUST THEM WITH WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE DONE TO YOUR NAKEDNESS. Who knows you both may actually like it and become closer.
• If your intent is to be used as or use someone as a booty call then for the love of lube BE HONEST and tell them.
• Stop using people, again unless your intent is fully disclosed and you are both accepting to it.
• Share your future goals they may not be the exact same as your significant others however, it levels the foundation for a stable building platform of your future.
• TALK TO EACH OTHER TRUTHFULLY STOP MISLEADING EACH OTHER >>>>>>>>
• As strong as a the heart muscle is it already has a huge responsibility stop being the cause of someones stress on their heart.
Try and find the balanced level within your relationship . Takes time but honesty and communication are a huge part of it.
As always thanks for reading please feel free to leave comments below.
Additionally , if you would like to be a contributor to dolphnotes and would like to write an article please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org , or if you would like your story shared please email it to me please remember to let me know in the email if you would like your name shared or not.
Remember this is a way to help each other through relationship issues. Thanks to all that read I am truly humbled with the 300+ followers between FB , twitter and subscribing to this page which by the way is free.
Thank you so much for reading. Next article to be published soon. 🙂
Interesting web post PS do not wait 3 months to ask