Another common issue amongst great couples is success. One would think that it shouldn’t be . The problem lies within our own felling of self worth. Let me explain. Certain things we achieve usually professionally has the potential to allow ourselves to feel not as good or unsuccessful compared to our mate. They may have a job that is better or money in the bank or perhaps a better education. Whatever the success is it causes jealousy or possibly a feeling of low self worth. My opinion is that we all simply look at it the wrong way and even myself it took me a while but I realized that I was guilty as well. My issue was the relationships some of my ex’s had with their friends. Honestly I should have embraced it however, I pushed her friends and my ex away. Turns out that it is all childish. I was jealous of her success to maintain and keep friends. It is not that I do not have friends I actually have a lot of great friends, my issue was because of previous choices I’ve made I put myself in a position that I have to work all the time. It was not my ex’s fault it was mine that I could not hang out with my friends more . She was successfully in maintaining her social butterfly status and I had to put mine on hold. More commonly the success issues stems from money or career not necessarily social status like mine did. Of course I have a different view on those type success issues, money is the root of all evil I HATE money and material things. I am an emotional type person, relationships are my wealth human interaction is my material need.
Success should never make ones self worth feel low. Success within a relationship should be celebrated. Again this is usually another area that I seem to be way different in during today’s world. My partners success is something that I feel as being ½ of the relationship that I should and want to support regardless of my own evaluation of my self worth. In the long run as my partner achieves success I do as well. Her happiness is my happiness. It is by our own selfish regrets that we allow ourselves to be taken back by the success of others we care for.
Being personally involved in both sides of this I have learned that I lacked support and lacked supporting. Another one of the the lessons I learned too late in a relationship. My advice on this is simple share your feelings with your other regardless of how you feel or how you think it is going to make them feel, empower yourself and your other to share and celebrate success. Trust me it will be the day to which you have lost everything that you realize that life is too short, relationships are the foundation of your strength and empowerment and I mean all relationships. Stop focusing on the small things, stop being jealous and feeling low about yourself, and focus on the grand plan thier success is also yours . Cherish every relationship even those unknown like the mail carrier, the connivence store clerk , your neighbors well frankly anyone you come in contact with. Share your success with everyone not to be conceded but perhaps to inspire others to work hard. Help others to be succesful. Trust me it has taken me a few months to pick myself up from a very very low place. If it was not for the success of my house mates and my friends sadly I know not where I would be today.
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Check out the link for some advice on envy: