Dating WTF is that anymore?

The Idea of dating has changed so much over the years.  When I was younger and started to date Dinner and a Movie was just that. Maybe after a month or so you did the have sex thing. Recently I have read a lot of posted about dating and basically how most people no longer understand what it  is and how to do it. Frankly I feel it is because as times have changed a sort of sense of entitlement is expected. Most feel they are entitled to that prince or princes off the cuff. Frankly a relationship is work and a balance of give and take. It is a partnership where each builds the other to the status of their prince or princess.   If you act and dress like a whore you are going to attract those that will treat you that way. Now I am not saying do not dress to impress just saying if you look like a pimp should me managing you calendar I do not want to hear you whine that all Suzie and or Johnny want to do with me is have sex. If the only place you go out on a date is your or their apartment this is not building a relationship. Unfortunately we have become a sexually driven society. Things like Netflix and chill have become a way.  Other factors I think that have because this lack of true dating ability is that we are a stressed and over worked society so we skip right to the release of sexual frustration. We focus on quick short term release of gratification.  This in itself is in my mind sad.

Perhaps if we actually started dating like they did back in the day and focused on things like truly getting to know someone and not focusing on how long it will take me to lick that like a snow cone. Society in itself would be a happier place. One’s self-worth will be a focus and not the way they feel physically. People themselves perhaps will have more self-worth. I am guilty of the GOD DAMN you know someone walks by and you look at them and say GOD DAMN the things I’d like to do to that.  That in itself isn’t not necessarily bad unless you act on it. Difference is I am stuck in a timeframe that I feel no longer exists. If I invite someone for drinks then that’s what I expect drinks. Dinner and a movie is just that.  Netflix and chill again is just that. Several times in my life and I proudly say this, I have been in the situation that alcohol has caused me and some really attractive women (PS whom I was attracted to) have gotten so drunk and shared the same bed……. GUESS WHAT EVEN DRUNK I WAS A GENTLEMEAN AND OUR CLOTHING REMAINED ON.  Remembering that one time I did slip and caught myself cuddling her in the morning. I was mortified and very apologetic when we woke up. You see I hold myself to a higher standard and women to me are not meat or trophies.  Her response was Dolph please it is ok you are the only gentleman I know thanks for the cuddle it was nice, thanks for respecting me and my body. Currently I am beginning to feel that single will be the remainder of my days simply because people feel that guys like me no longer exist and frankly I feel that no women want chivalry and respect and to get to know people. Sad thing is it is what we all need. Our bodies and minds deserve more respect then they get. We are all just afraid to trust and take the chance that this one just may not be a pig.

Again thanks for reading please visit dolphnotes.wordpress.com and follow the page. If you just read this through Facebook it does not count the same in sponsor’s eyes.   If you have a topic suggestion or want to leave comments please leave them in comment section or email me at dolphnotes@gmail.com

So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year.  So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph

Links may not be clickable if not please copy and paste and remember to share

Home things and linen.

mylinenworld.com/adolphmontanye/

Makeup Eraser

montanyecorp.makeuperaser.com/

Home items and décor

montanyecorp.pineoakfarm.com/

Awesome supplement and nutritional  program

montanyecorp.le-vel.com/

Women and men’s clothing and accessories

shops.zindigo.com/Montanyes

Adult Toys and gifts (must be 18 or older)

naughtyds.theydirty.com/

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Give Up …… Well sometimes you must.

There is a point within a relationship and frankly life that you just feel like giving up or you give up. Most importantly if you have that constant felling of low self-worth please for the LOVE OF SWEET BABY JESUS get help talk to a Doctor.  Two of the most common reasons for suicide in the US are relationship based or based upon a Medical condition or diagnosis.

Giving up on a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. When a relationship hits that unhealthy level of toxicity it needs to end. Not a single person on the face of this earth deserves to live in an environment to which they consistently feel unwanted or unappreciated. Of course before you get to this point if you really care about this person and relationship you need to go through the steps. You need to talk it out, try counseling and then WALK AWAY before it consumes your life or makes you sick or even worse.

Hardest thing is when you love someone and their lack of respect for you or feeling that everything is a struggle dealing with them breaks down what you were. From a male perspective (well a man of old school values) we compartmentalize everything, we do not like to show emotions (or burden our loved one with), we are generally task driven so we may not open be or show emotional moments. Trust me in most cases this does not mean you’re not loved or respected men generally struggle with showing true emotion. The older of us are taught to be strong and not seem weak by letting emotions drive or control us.   That whole real men don’t cry BS.  Truth is real men do cry you just may not see it.  The difference is our crying may be different then what you are accustom to see.  Personally yes tears have come out of my eyes from time to time but more common I get quite, direct, arrogant, and cocky and frankly sometimes a real asshole. Or I will seclude myself or become distant. If I would step back and look at my own behavior I can see how that can make my other feel like giving up. Truth is I was trying to protect them from me looking week, the actual truth is it made me look insensitive and that of an asshole. Chances are that if I was more of a man and stepped up and was responsible as a man I would have sat down and opened up.

Like anything in a relationship it is a balance and sometime it is toxic and not fixable. Again if you have gone through the motions and you cannot see a positive light at the end then please get out. Depression takes a lot away from life and honestly I feel at times it is worse than the effect of suicide. I am sure that some of you have that WTF do you mean suicide is horrible. YES IT IS and personally I think cowards commit suicide noble honest people find a way to get through it.  If you are depressed and are just making it through your day chances you inadvertently take that out on all those around you. Thereby YOU ARE CAUSING OTHERS AROUND YOU TO FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT THEMSELVES.  YOU MAY BE CAUSING BEHAVIORIAL ISSUES FOR YOUNG SIBLINGS OR CHILDREN. The saying goes misery Loves Company you may be the misery inadvertently creating company.  This is how it was growing up in my house at times when I was younger, if one of the siblings went through a break up we all were aggravated and depressed. Hell happens today as an adult with my housemates if one of us are off and having a bad time the others feel it.

So should you give up YES on somethings if your relationship ended then it is most likely not meant to be, anytime I got a second run or gave someone a second run I was always reminded of why we left the first time. Keeping the false hope is only holding yourself back.

I believe in soulmates with that said you do not break up with your soulmate so you might feel that they are but if they were, then shouldn’t you be together by the very definition of soulmate.

If you have gone through talking, and seeking professional help and you still want to give up on the relationship then DO IT or stop bitching about it.

More importantly learn the signs of depression and get help. It is not fair that you abuse the neighbor kid or the clerk at the store or friends or family because you can’t keep your shit together. Realize that if you cannot keep your stuff together then you need help. Asking for help from loved ones is a lot easier then rebuilding a relationship after you have alienated them.

Again thanks for reading please visit dolphnotes.wordpress.com and follow the page.  If you have a topic suggestion or want to leave comments please leave them in comment section or email me at dolphnotes@gmail.com

So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year.  So below is a bundh of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph

Links may not be clickable if not please copy and paste and remember to share

Home things and linen.

mylinenworld.com/adolphmontanye/

Makeup Eraser

montanyecorp.makeuperaser.com/

Home items and décor

montanyecorp.pineoakfarm.com/

Awesome supplement and nutritional  program

montanyecorp.le-vel.com/

Women and men’s clothing and accessories

shops.zindigo.com/Montanyes

Adult Toys and gifts (must be 18 or older)

naughtyds.theydirty.com/

THE NOBLE AND THE DOUCHE

In times of past the noble was the type of person held with in high regard within the kingdom. Sadly this time has passed. It seems that there is a new hero to most fair maidens within the kingdom now. They seem to have this infatuation with the Douche, you know who this person is I am sure you know or have seen one. This is the person that treats the fair maiden as if she is a servant, a prize, property, a grand trophy. She holds no value to him other than to be there to satisfy his needs and hers, well please they hold no relevance.

Let’s take a moment to speak of the noble. This is the chap that is probably in that friend-zone that I spoke of during the previous post. This is the guy that you have the nerve to say things to him like “I wish my man was half the man you are” or “you’re so nice why are you single”. This is the guy that treats you and mostly everyone around them with high respect. This person is probably still loyal to people even with the level of disrespect and amount of times they have been hurt or used.  This is most likely the one person you know that would answer your text, or call quicker and more consistently then your other. Checks up on you even though you probably have ignored the” Hey how have you been text for 2 or 3 days before you answer it.” Sadly the noble already most likely knows you will never be his queen, however talking to you most likely comforts him and frankly his compassion for you comforts you.

Scary thing is a lot of the douches are masters of playing noble just long enough for you to fall for them. Once you have fallen the douchery starts. Countless times I witness good women getting used, hell some of these douches should have a swinging door or a turnstile as a bedroom door. Chances are the chic at the local convenience store sees them more then you do. Yet they are the best thing since the invention of a manicure and pedicure combo sale. For the life of me I cannot understand why this is even your choice. Recently I had an opportunity to ask a couple of great women why? The answer was they like the bad boy, they think they can fix them and how cute they are.  Well the noble can also have that rebel side and will still respect you. The noble probably also has issues that need a fix and well the cute thing is either you have it or you don’t. This difference is you will most likely be treated as the queen of the kingdom and will walk by his side, not behind him or even in front of him. They will be open to share things with you like they will be able to hand over their unlocked phone if asked. Chances are your will not have to call first for a surprise pop over visit. Not saying this is something you should or even ask for. Three relationships within my time the women of my life at the time would always be texting and always hide the screens or go to another room when texting. Turns out all 3 of those women cheated on me. Me on the other hand my phone is only locked with a password when I am at work when I was home it was unlocked and set on a counter. Hell I remember getting screamed and yelled at for even touching hers to move it to clean the table.  Funny thing is after the break ups they had a new man within weeks or sometimes days.

Can you convert a Douche to a noble NO YOU CAN NOT they are the only ones that can change themselves, oh and by the way they have to want to and come up with the idea on their own. If you push them you are just making things worse for yourself.  Most cases the abuse keeps up for years and sadly is tolerated, really sad as so many nobles are available. To each there own though, the nobles within your life will most likely always be there and chances are you talk to them more than your douche and most likely they know more about you then your douche does.

Can a noble be a douche sadly yes. Chances are this is extremely short lived, chances are you caught them at a low point of their day and the douchery was a reaction of the feelings they have for you that you do not respect or fail to see. After all they are human.  This really is not being a Douche it is them having a hard time dealing with the way you are being treated.  Or they are trying to act in a way that they feel you respond to.

Me personally I am a noble. Sadly at times I wish I was a douche. Seems that they are happy, the people they are with most likely are not. I know seems like a self- centered comment.   I would be lying to you if I said the thought never crossed my mind. Truth is I do not have it in me, besides I have learned that my values define whom I am and it is what helped me to obtain the respect people have for me.  If you have a douche chances are your happiness will take a long time for you to see that is if you’re lucky enough to see it at all.

So what does this all mean?  Frankly I do not know other then. Maybe we should all consider all sides of a situation. Maybe people’s feelings should matter and we all should show a little compassion for all those around us.  Douches will normally stay a Douche for most of their time. They may have a few good days, weeks, or months but I am betting they will continue to be a douche. Just as the Noble will still always be a noble and will endure the trials and tribulations of your life with you, WHY? Frankly because that is who they are and standing by the sides of people they care about is all they know and they are good at it.

Thanks again for reading leave comments, if you have an idea for a topic or if you want to leave a private message or comment please email me at dolphnotes@gmail.com. Please go to the website directly and follow. Pass it on to your friends and family, send it to people you think are going through similar issues. The goal of dolphnotes is to help me by helping others.

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