Been longer than normal since I have posted. Partly because of my crazy work schedule and the other part is I found myself held within this place of darkness. After reflecting back I figured it out. I was in a place of remorse for my actions. You see I am one of those people that walk around head held high because I do not act as a douchebag to women or at least I didn’t think I did. However, even though I am always polite and caring and help all around me I was a douchebag I have emotional scared those that have loved me, I have also walked or pushed away friends and family that were always important to me. Upon reflection I realized that the consequences of my actions have caused emotional pain to others and has built up within my own mind. I realized that actions; be it within my control or beyond my control have impacted myself and so many people around me.
Without getting too far into what my specific moments of pain are lets point out some common ones. Friends and relationships, I was always the jokester the fun guy but also the one that everyone came to for advice from a job to a relationship I was the go to guy. Over time I have allowed my negative thoughts to build up within my mind until such a point that I stopped listening. I pushed friends and family away. Although on the other hand when I was sort of on my game my girlfriend or wife at the time had to live with the fact that I was the go to guy and always no matter what time or how far away I would always be there for everyone. This went for work as well they would call and I would not think twice about leaving a holiday meal or gathering of friends to go save the world. The lesson unfortunately I just realized when I attended my oldest son’s concert this weekend. The first realization was my daughter whom just started school this year wanted to sit with me. Me being the proud father that I am I sat next to her during the performance she rested her beautiful little head upon my arm and started to doze off. It made me realize that family is security, it is comfort, and it is love and so many more things. The second realization was my ex-wife says hey since the other 2 boys didn’t want to come to the concert you can stop by on your way home to see them if you like, so I did and we spent a few hours sitting on the living room floor laughing and telling stories. It wasn’t until I was leaving that I had my other realization for the evening. She walks me out to the car as she always does when I visit the children so that she can tell me things going on with the children that she may not want to say in front of them. We talked and then I shared some issues that I recently had with the mother of my other child and the horrible outcome from it. She stays and speaks to me just like she used to back before we dated back when we were friends. She made me realize that friends are the glue that holds together sanity. Realizing that over the last few years pushing all those components away I destroyed the foundation or values of my beliefs that define who I am. She also taught me that a true friend will stand by your side even if you have hurt them.
We all get to a point where we make choices based on some illusion or perhaps delusion of happiness that we think we want or deserve. Please use caution one can really ruin a life or your own, you have to walk the path you believe in not the one that will get you that date with that crush you have, or get you back together with the one that got away or that one you felt was your soul mate. In all fairness you must always take care of yourself and maintain that path for your future and your success then the rest will fall into place.
So please do not allow yourself to dwell in that darkness it really is a scary place. This is also an evil place this is the place where anxiety, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide live. You do not want them to take over. You are responsible to stay the path. You are responsible for the hurt in others that your actions cause. You are responsible for your success and your failures. Lastly if your life is shit like how I feel mine is at times, then perhaps you like me need to stop the self-loathing and pity get off our asses and be the force of overwhelming positive that I know I used to be and know you can be as well. There are so many help and support groups out there for depression, alcoholism, and substance abuse if you or if you suspect someone you love is struggling get help. DEATH is final and too late.
I am still looking for a story from a female’s perspective so please write one and send it to me. You can stay anonyms I will only disclose your name if you want me to.
Again thanks for reading please visit dolphnotes.wordpress.com and follow the page. If you just read this through Facebook it does not count the same in sponsor’s eyes. If you have a topic suggestion or want to leave comments please leave them in comment section or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year. So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph
Links may not be clickable if not please copy and paste and remember to share
Home things and linen.
Home items and décor
Awesome supplement and nutritional program
Women and men’s clothing and accessories
Adult Toys and gifts (must be 18 or older)