HEY… I have papers that’s mine.

keep-calm-and-hey-that-s-mine

So an interesting topic was presented to me and maybe by the end of this post I will have a better understanding as to where I stand on the topic. After putting a feeler out on Face Book I was sent the topic of “Genital Exclusiveness” followed with a statement of why is it that when one commits to a relationship why does that mean your sexual experiences are exclusive to that person.
Until I have started to research this topic I had no idea how many people have the idea that it is ok to have a sexual relation with someone even though they are in a committed relationship. I would personally say that I do not know anything other than a relationship that has a rule that what’s in our pants is only shared with each other. I once dated a stripper and would visit her at work and it used to drive me nuts with guys being all over her. However, after a few visits it became easier for me to accept it. Honestly as long as I spoke with her about it I am sure she would have been ok if I told her I wanted to have sex with someone else.
Morally this is not acceptable now I guess the hard part is why it is not. Other cultures do it and they still stay married or within their primary relationship. I think it is not accepted because of a few reasons. We were taught from young that this is not right. We have become sensitive jealous people. We are insecure about ourselves. Now again I am not sure where I personally stand I will further explain that soon.
Let’s say you want to have that golden pass, I would think that first of all you and your partner must agree and oh it cannot be a one sided thing. You cannot go out double dipping and then fight with your girl when she has been dipped buy someone else. One would have to be safe pregnancy is not the only fear you should have, one of the 100’s of STDs should be a concern.
Statistically as odd as it is relationships that have other sexual interaction last longer…. Yes I said that now out of those relationships in the study a high percentage of those extra relationship encounters were not sanctioned meaning someone was cheating on someone because the partner was not aware. The reason they went outside of their home was the thrill a new toy experiences that their current lover may not have been into. The swinger population has been doing this for years and they stay married let’s face it there is a difference between a keeper and a play toy.
Personally I would like to think I am a very open man. However, I know that I would feel not good enough that you would want to go elsewhere. With that said being in long term relationships I would say variety would have been interesting. After all there are couples that have threesomes or participate in orgies and those couple seem to be happy. Knowing a few couples like this I have to say they really are in love with each other and seem happy. Ironically they are confidant and very secure with themselves. Talking with them they say that the key is being honest and communicating with each other. There are rules and you must follow them. Protection is required and in some of those relationships the partner has to agree with your choice of play toy. So I guess I would say I am still on the fence however , if this is your kind of thing then by all means if it makes you and your partner happy then go for it.

I really would like your opinions on this one so please leave your comments.

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A special favor my friends a person dear to my heart has been diagnosed with cancer and needs support so please view the 2 links below donate or buy a shirt if you can in not please share them on your social media. Thanks

T-shirts to show support
https://www.booster.com/help-us-to-help-one-of

Go Fund me page
https://www.gofundme.com/Uliana

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I am still looking for a story from a female’s perspective so please write one and send it to me. You can stay anonyms I will only disclose your name if you want me to.
******************************************************************************
Again thanks for reading please visit dolphnotes.wordpress.com and follow the page. If you just read this through Facebook it does not count the same in sponsor’s eyes.   if you have a topic suggestion or want to leave comments please leave them in comment section or email me at dolphnotes@gmail.com

So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year.  So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph
Links may not be clickable if not please copy and paste and remember to share
Home things and linen.
mylinenworld.com/adolphmontanye/
Makeup Eraser
montanyecorp.makeuperaser.com/
Home items and décor
montanyecorp.pineoakfarm.com/
Awesome supplement and nutritional program
montanyecorp.le-vel.com/
Women and men’s clothing and accessories
shops.zindigo.com/Montanyes
Adult Toys and gifts (must be 18 or older)
naughtyds.theydirty.com/

 

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Doubt it …. Or Do I ?

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You’ve been dating a great guy or you just met him things seem to be going very well. You are attracted to him, enjoy hanging out, and can see a great future ahead. All is well… until he tells you that he’s having doubts about the relationship or a relationship.

Fortunately this doesn’t mean that the relationship is over. There’s a lot you can do get the relationship back on track. Here’s four tips to navigate his doubts and help him avoid making the big mistake of losing you.

 

Let’s Talk About It.

If your man says he’s having doubts, it’s important to get to the bottom of what he’s feeling. Don’t accuse. Don’t nag. Simply ask him to open up to you. For example, you could show empathy for his feelings, try and ask why (do not push simply ask for more information”.  Truly listen to him. Do not contradict everything he says. You may want to do just that! But don’t.  Don’t take what he says too seriously or his comments bother you, no matter how hurtful they may seem. Compose yourself relax ask him to continue make him feel that you care and are not judging his feelings. Remain positive and optimistic be supportive, and remember it’s not your moment.

Realistically he may just be overwhelmed and stressed, we all have triggers that place ill rational thought in our heads sometimes we just need to sort them out. If he is younger it may be a lack of experience if he is older it could be past demons coming to the surface.  Regardless if you are a team or meant to be a team communication needs to be a foundation within your relationship.

 

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

 

Try and remind him and yourself what it was like in the beginning. If it’s a new meeting explain your attraction. Even the toughest guy has a soft side.  Even though most guys will not admit it they secretly love that mushy stuff but in moderation and not like send me a pink teddy bear kind of way. Compliment a feature or an act hell I’m easy surprised me with my favorite coffee when I’m having a bad day.  Relationships wind up falling apart because we allow the stresses of our life to allow us to forget the simple basic needs one has.

 

Do not ride my ass

If your man tells you that he’s having doubts do not become a pest or a nag, this is one of the worst things you can do.  If you text all the time or call  all the time after he has expressed doubt this action is going to increase his fear. Basically if he says not right now or I am busy please respect that without your bitch A tude.  I know you want him to reassure you, but he can’t….at least not right now. It is at this moment that he needs to see that even though you might be scared, you will maintain your value.

 

I’m not saying this is easy, but it is powerful. When you feel like begging remember that at this moment what he needs is for you not to take his doubts too seriously. If you beg, you’ll confirm his worst fears and send him packing.

 

Time Baby Please Just Some Time

If there isn’t an obvious issue, like an unresolved conflict, then most doubts go away over time. Often it’s simply because the relationship started very intensely and suddenly it doesn’t feel as intense has it used to. Even though this is normal, it doesn’t feel normal to him. While he’s sorting through his feelings do this:

Don’t be too available with your time. Spend less time with him than he wants. I know this seems wrong, but we like the attention as much as you do. We are just wired differently.  Deny a request to see each other every once and a while. Believe me this causes a guy with doubt to do one of two things. Like resolve the doubt in his mind and fight for his maiden or realize that the relationship is not what he wants. Either way the conflict is now over you may not like the one option but it is so much better to know then be strung along.

If he’s the right one, he’ll see you for the gem you are and will quickly be back by your side. If not… it’s time to find the man who will be there for you and love you for the woman you are.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A special favor my friends a person dear to my heart has been diagnosed with cancer and needs support so please view the 2 links below donate or by a shirt if you can in not please share them on your social media. Thanks

 

T-shirts to show support

https://www.booster.com/help-us-to-help-one-of

 

Go Fund me page

https://www.gofundme.com/Uliana

 

 

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

I am still looking for a story from a female’s perspective so please write one and send it to me. You can stay anonyms I will only disclose your name if you want me to.

******************************************************************************

Again thanks for reading please visit dolphnotes.wordpress.com and follow the page. If you just read this through Facebook it does not count the same in sponsor’s eyes.   If you have a topic suggestion or want to leave comments please leave them in comment section or email me at dolphnotes@gmail.com

So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year.  So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph

Links may not be clickable if not please copy and paste and remember to share

Home things and linen.

mylinenworld.com/adolphmontanye/

Makeup Eraser

montanyecorp.makeuperaser.com/

Home items and décor

montanyecorp.pineoakfarm.com/

Awesome supplement and nutritional program

montanyecorp.le-vel.com/

Women and men’s clothing and accessories

shops.zindigo.com/Montanyes

Adult Toys and gifts (must be 18 or older)

naughtyds.theydirty.com/

 

 

 

Trust the Foundation of Relations

Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish.”  ~Barbara Smith

 

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Do you trust your lover? 100%? If so, what did you do to create that? If not, what have you done to create that?

The trust factor in a relationship is one of the primary cornerstones of a solid relationship foundation. Without trust, the relationship can be easily upset and usually stays more in an upset mode.

The big question is, if there is a lack of trust, why is it there? Has something legitimate happened to trigger it, or is it something from the “ghosts of relationships past” that is simply being transferred onto your current relationship?

If there is a lack of trust, then it’s time for the two of you to take a good long and very honest and open look at what’s happened. If there is something there that can’t seem to be resolved, then perhaps getting some professional help would be the next best move.

If lying, cheating or deception has occurred, you can bet that rebuilding trust will take significant time, energy and effort.

So, there are the obvious trust factors involving honesty and fidelity, and there are also many more subtle factors that occur on a daily basis.

For example, sometimes there may be a tendency to question your lover. This may be a very conscious act or, in many cases, more of a subconscious reaction. Oftentimes this comes from trying to rationalize something or to make sense of an emotional state. In these cases, it’s probably not intended as anything negative or hurtful, even though it may be perceived as such.

Therefore, you need to know this: There’s a fine line between questioning your lover’s judgment or decision-making skills for the purpose of understanding or being truly supportive and protective versus questioning because you want to be “right.”

This being right is typically when one person wants to feel in control, so they try to point out what the other has done “wrong” or could do differently.

This is usually either driven from the ego or fear, which, when you get to origin, are generally one in the same.

If you participate in trying to be right you’ll create an almost instant destruction!

Many relationships have been destroyed because one or both people are driven to be right. Make your relationship goal connection, understanding and support, instead of the ego-driven “need to be right syndrome.”

In any case, this questioning dynamic can be an irritant at the core of your relationship because it can bring with it the feeling of doubt. Obviously your relationship would be best served to eliminate this unnecessary, irritating and potentially damaging dynamic.

Therefore, it is always wise to ask and get clarity. Ask if your lover would like input, feedback, suggestions or ideas. Likewise, ask if they just want you to be an empathetic and understanding sounding board.

Whatever the case is, if you’re not supporting your lover with trust and faith, you risk sending a message of doubt, even though that may not be your intention.

 

“Be trusting, be encouraging, be supportive, be curious and have faith that your lover is making good choices. Always use the healthy relational building blocks of faith and trust and avoid the destructive termites of fear and doubt.”

~Ken Donaldson

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”  ~ Thomas Merton

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I am still looking for a story from a female’s perspective so please write one and send it to me. You can stay anonyms I will only disclose your name if you want me to.

******************************************************************************

Again thanks for reading please visit dolphnotes.wordpress.com and follow the page. If you just read this through Facebook it does not count the same in sponsor’s eyes.   If you have a topic suggestion or want to leave comments please leave them in comment section or email me at dolphnotes@gmail.com

So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year.  So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph

Links may not be clickable if not please copy and paste and remember to share

Home things and linen.

mylinenworld.com/adolphmontanye/

Makeup Eraser

montanyecorp.makeuperaser.com/

Home items and décor

montanyecorp.pineoakfarm.com/

Awesome supplement and nutritional program

montanyecorp.le-vel.com/

Women and men’s clothing and accessories

shops.zindigo.com/Montanyes

Adult Toys and gifts (must be 18 or older)

naughtyds.theydirty.com/

 

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http://rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?t=dolphnotes-20&o=1&p=13&l=ez&f=ifr&f=ifr&linkID=WVCPG7SITCVVNGNI