Happiness is one’s own responsibility


Happy 3Second guessing choices within your life can take a couple of different shapes within your world. It can hold you back or it can teach you a lesson to make you better. The problem becomes managing your regrets or poor choices so that it is a lesson and not something that will hold you back. Like most people I have allow poor choices that I have made sometimes dictate whom I am rather than who I want to be.

The hard part is realizing it before you push all those that care away in your life. For me I have struggled with this. After each of my break ups I go through this stage that I just exist rather than lick my wounds and get back to being whom I am capable of being. I almost shut down and just get stuck within the normal routine within life and pull back from family and friends. Over the years I have attempted to not allow myself to become a hermit,  not saying that I completely cut myself off more so that  I would most likely just stay in and be bored and alone then go visit with friends or family.

I have served in the Emergency Medical Service for a long time within my life and can handle the brain matter of a patient in my hands but I cannot handle the feeling of emptiness after a relationship ends.  It does not even have to be a relationship of an ex-lover could be the loss of a good friendship, which is usually over something stupid or over an asinine act on my part.

Part of the reason that this blog has come to be is because it causes me to evaluate myself in each of these relationships that have ended. I have started to focus on my part of the breakdown and helps me to notice the warning signs of a broken relationship. This is still a learning process I only wish that I was able to learn this earlier thereby allowing me to recover quicker, had I done this I would not have missed great opportunities with some great people that I allowed to walk out of my world. It has made me more open to admitting my wrong and apologizing for my stupidity.

So what does this mean…?  Well I am still learning what it means for me. I can say that I now understand a little better my own behavior. I can recover quicker from negatives in life such as harsh judgment or rejection.  I possess the courage to ask that person out that in the past I would already convince myself I didn’t have a chance with. Turns out some of the most beautiful women I know have not given me a chance at a relationship as a lover, but I still care for them as some of the best people I know. I often have conversations with them.  Frankly, I have great friendships with them. This is a huge step in the right direction for me, in the past I would have simply just walked away and lost the potential for an awesome person within my life. So maybe that is the answer one must realize that most people you meet that are invested in getting to know you a little have purpose within your world. Sure they may not be your next lover but perhaps they are meant to be one of your best friends.  I am now very open with these women and I always now tell them that in fact I was interested to get to know them at a different level however, I respect their position and if I ever crossed a line in conversation that they would simply tell me. As recent as a month ago I met someone while out with one of my housemates personally I thought she was stunning. After a conversation or two I found out that she is seeing someone and we basically agree that being friends would be awesome.  Same thing I said to her was that I would love being friends and if I crossed a line please tell me. She simply replied back Awesome!!!!  Turns out a couple weeks later after talking with me she has someone she would like me to meet.  Had this been the old me I would have never agreed to it.

We control our own path I believe that we can cause the demise of our own destiny. You really need to evaluate yourself learn some lessons from your mistakes and be ready to step up. After all you are the only one that can pursue your own happiness it is no one else’s responsibility but your own.



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So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year.  So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph

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Home things and linen.


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2 thoughts on “Happiness is one’s own responsibility

  1. In response to Happiness Is Your Own Responsibility:

    As usual, I’m replying to an older blog, but I get to catch up on these things when I can.

    I grew up with a mother that relied heavily on me for her happiness. That is a lot for anyone to bear, let alone a child. Once I realized that my mother’s mood, actions, words, and feelings were always connected to whether or not I was well behaved, came home with good grades, did what she wanted me to do and when she wanted me to do them, I soon learned what anxiety and panic attacks were. As I was her key to happiness, I learned to depend solely on others for my own happiness. It is exhausting to know that everything you say and do relates to the mood of another. Just as it was exhausting for me with my mother, it became exhausting for my friends as I depended upon them for the same. Friendships traveled over into relationships. For most of my life, I needed a man to be happy. When that person no longer made me happy, I moved on to the next. Several long term relationships as I was usually in it for the long haul, but I was never single for any length of time. Whatever traits were bothering me about the current boyfriend, fiance’ etc, I would seek out someone that didn’t have those traits or who was a complete opposite for the next relationship. Again, exhausting for them, and unsatisfying for me.

    After a marriage that ended after 3 1/2 years, I finally forced myself to remain single. I dated, had FWB’s, and socialized like I hadn’t done since high school, but I remained single, and made any guy that gave me the impression he was trying to get serious know, it wasn’t happening. For 3 years I was by myself. Difficult, yes. Necessary, absolutely. For the first time in my life, I learned how to make myself happy. I learned that being alone does not have to mean feeling lonely. I learned what I enjoyed doing, and places I enjoyed visiting because for the first time in my life, I had no one else to take care or or fix. I had no one else to play “Mom” to, and then resent when he couldn’t man up and take care of me. I stopped babying men in my life and I stopped babying myself. I took a trip to visit a friend. One week turned into a month long visit, and I had time to reflect, cry, laugh, explore, and learn.

    I now know how to be happy on my own, and actually prefer it that way. Now that I am a mom myself, being alone is rare, but I do not depend on my son for my happiness. A burden I will not put on him. I no longer wait for a guy to figure out what I want or what I’d like to do, I do these things for myself. Hopeless romantic, yes. I have been and probably always will be. However, being a Virgo, I am also a realist. I’ve learned that you can only be let down and disappointed if you allow yourself to be. Would I like a guy to show up at my door with flowers, candy, a stuffed animal and whisk me off somewhere romantic on Valentine’s Day or any other day? Hell yes. Do I wait for it to happen and get sad and depressed when it doesn’t happen? Hell no. Not anymore. I get the things I want that make me happy, to me from me. And, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. I’m making myself happy.

    It’s not easy, and there are many days where I allow the moods of those around me to affect me. However, I make myself happy and do what I need to do to be the best version of me for myself and my son.

    Liked by 1 person

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